as usual

once again, the same old starting line.. that goes...
It's been a long time since i blogged. haha. how many times would i have written that in my entire life, i wonder.
Since, i am so free now, i thought i could squeeze some stuff into my blog. school year ended. i miss my babies. though i am anticipating my new batch of babies.
okie. i am bored. so that is all for now.

- seriously in a 'da da da' mood -

days weeks months

ya

that is pretty how long i took to update my blog. well.... since my lappie crashed and i have nothing better to do, i decided to update my blog.
Super sian... first in 5 years that my lappie crashed. Not that i do not wish to get a new laptop, just that the one i have really carries some importance....
here i go again.
getting bored.
bye.

hey hey

okie

i know i always start with it's been a long time. lol. wat else can i say but the truth. A friend told me recently about her blog which got me starting thinking on my own blog. so i figured it is probably time to start reblog on my own blog.
been very 'unhealthy' this year. bad years for 'dogs' apparantly. so started taking vitamins to make myself stronger!!! anyway, i wan to go sleep liao! so ....

- in a 'sleepy' mood -

seriously, a long time.

it has been such a long time since i blogged! been so busy with everything in school... not much time for other stuff.. but since people have been asking me about my updates, i decided to blog now since i am still awake...
let me see... been really tired lately... been having really weird images in my mind.... been jogging more lately... been pretty stressed with everything on my mind... been having break outs lately... alot of have been.. ha ha!

- in a 'have been' mood -

the heart of the matter

I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear But I knew that it would come An old true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone She said you found someone And I thought of all the bad luck, And all the struggles we went through How I lost me and you lost you What are these voices outside love's open door Make us throw off our contentment And beg for something more? I've been learning to live without you now But I miss you sometimes The more I know, the less I understand All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning them again I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter But my will gets weak And my thoughts seem to scatter But I think it's about forgiveness Forgiveness Even if, even if you don't love me anymore These times are so uncertain There's a yearning undefined And people filled with rage We all need a little tenderness How can love survive in such a graceless age And the trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness They're the very things we kill, I guess Pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms And the work they put between us, You know it doesn't keep us warm I've been trying to live without you now But I miss you, baby The more I know, the less I understand And all the things I thought I figured out, I have to learn again I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter But my will gets weak And my heart is so shattered But I think it's about forgiveness Forgiveness Even if, even if you don't love me anymore All the people in your life who've come and gone They let you down, you know they hurt your pride Better put it all behind you; cause life goes on You keep carrin' that anger, it'll eat you up inside I wanna be happily everafter And my heart is so shattered But I know it's about forgiveness Forgiveness Even if, even if you don't love me anymore I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter Because the flesh will get weak And the ashes will scatter So I'm thinkin' about forgiveness Forgiveness Even if you don't love me anymore Even if you don't love me anymore

You know it's time when...

When do you know it's exactly the time to move on?
I doubt i would ever know...
Anyway, i attended a course on self reflection...
So decided to do some reflecting... but reflecting does kind of bring you down at time... when you start thinking of the past...
but i decided to just reflect on my own teaching.. so i can be a better teacher!
Serious! dun laugh!!!
So , i am going to sleep early so i would have all my energy for my babies!!!!!1

- in a 'reflective' mood -

how many wrong turns make a right turn?

you know how everyone of us makes mistakes at times and makes that super very bad and silly judgement or decision..
well i believe, ME the almost close to perfection me made such decision,
At this point, i can only say i am trying my best to retify the situation and of course i have to deal with the after effects of the decision that i had to make because of the 'bad' decision i made... lol... sounds confusing right...
Somehow, i think my life is going nowhere, I think my destination has yet to be found. I have no idea whether i should be sad or happy. I am 26 this year... nothing big accomplished. Everything i ever wanted or how i see myself at this point of time, somehow seemed more distant than ever.
Friends say, take one step at a time. It's so easy yet so difficult... one step seems like eternity. The future to me is just a big bag if uncertainties....

- in a very 'i also dun know what to say' mood -